Brewstew – My Dad’s Car

Brewstew – My Dad’s Car

Alright, now, we didn’t have a lot of money,
when I was growing up Which meant we had some pretty shitty
family vehicles when I was a kid And when I say shitty I mean they looked like cars that
would be ran over by a monster truck shitty We had cars with broken windshields They’d have more rust on them than the Titanic Because my dad loved cheap cars, the cheaper –
the better, no matter how shitty they are I’d be sitting there in the passenger seat “Uh, Dad? Why is our car on fire?” “Ah, it does that from time to time,
it’s just a little oil, it’s fine” But I was used to it as a kid I remember riding in one of my friend’s
parents car, my mind was blown, I was like, “Woah! You guys air conditioning?
What are you, guys? From the future?” But of all the shitty cars that we had They were nothing, compared to
my dad’s 1984 Subaru Hatchback I called it “The Rusty Turd”, because.. Well, because it looked like it came
from somebody’s asshole, that’s why First time I’m seeing this thing,
I remember thinking, “Holy Hell! Did my dad build his own car?” What did he, take the fucking lawnmower
apart and make this thing in the garage? This thing was no Rolls-Royce, let me tell you! It was a stick shift, but it had no third gear But my dad didn’t care “Third gear? Who the fuck needs third gear?” “Uh, dad, are we even allowed
to drive this thing on the road?” “I don’t know, but we’re gonna find out,
God damn it!” We’d be driving down the road,
people’d staring at us “Mommy, look! That man’s driving a car
made out of garbage!” Now, another thing about this car Was that the passenger door liked to randomly
open while you’re driving down the road So you’d be sitting there,
trying to roll down your window All of a sudden
*falls out with whistling sound* Your ass goes tumbling down the highway So my dad fixed it by keeping it
held shut with a bungee cord “There we go, good as new, no problem” I’d be sitting there, nervous as hell “Uh, how many seatbelts do we got in this car?
I don’t think I have enough seatbelts” That car was a deathtrap, the goddamn thing
didn’t even have turn signals that worked “Turn signals? Who the fuck needs turn signals?
I’ll just yell out of my window, if I have to!” “Hey, asshole, I’m gonna turn left
up here, did you hear me?” My friends were totally afraid of our car They’d hop in the backseat,
wearing helmets and shit “Uhm, is your car gonna blow up?” “Eh, probably, not, but I have your mom
signed this permission slip, just in case” My dad paid one hundred dollars
for this car. A hundred bucks “Uh, dad? I don’t think we should drive anything,
that costs less than a washing machine” But he loved it! He’d brag about it
to his friends and shit “Yep, bought this thing for a hundred bucks!” “It’s lasted me two years, that’s like a
four dollar a month car payment” Now, the worst thing about this car
was that the starter was broken So that meant, if we wanted to go somewhere,
we’d have to push the car to get it going And then jump in,
pop the clutch, start the engine That’s what we’d have to do
every time we wanted to go somewhere So every day we’d be out there
pushing this car made out of garbage Like some kind of shitty two-man bobsled team My friends would be watching this
from the sidewalk What kind of weird circus shit is this? It was pretty goddamn embarassing,
to say the least We’d be at the grocery store,
people’d be staring at us and shit “Oh my God. I hope they’re
pushing that thing off a cliff” But after two years that Subaru had enough The transmission was destroyed, and my dad
had to tie it to a tree and put it down “Well, Rusty Turd, your time is up, time to die” *Cocks the shotgun and shoots* And that was the end of it But there was good news after all that My dad scrapped that car
and got even more money than he paid for it “Uh, yeah, we’re just giving you this money..” “So we don’t have to see that
pile of shit on the road anymore” “Have a good day” Special Thanks to: Cameron Jacobs, Vinnie Pretet,
Marcus Johnson, Bobby Luu, Wesley Rocco Special Thanks to: Steven Meekel, Matthew Dodd,
Wren Danforth, Babalou Productions, James Walker Special Thanks to: Mr. Damien 15, CrazyMarioBros,
Shawn Smart, Danny Pepin, Chas McQuillan, William Special Thanks to all the other patrons! Thanks for watching, everybody. And thanks to
everybody that bought a Brewstew plush toy Today is the last day they’re available for sale
[Link in description] So now’s your chance to get them.
Tomorrow they will be gone And you’ll have to buy ’em for
10 times the price on ebay or some shit So check out the link in the description

About the Author: Michael Flood


  1. The boy with the hat and long hair in this video is my son William. He has been diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer. Tyler and Brewstew were awesome for sending for putting William in their video. We are trying to get him home to family in CA for radiation and chemo therapy treatment. Share the link, and if you can, please contribute to our campaign., anything helps!

    Thank you Tyler and Brewstew for being a hero to my son.

    Thank you all for your support love and prayers.

    [email protected] Cynthia-Frease

  2. "You have air conditioning are you from the future?" Yeah I can relate on that from a nostalgic point of view and from the point if view that I still don't have AC

  3. In case yall never grew up poor or on a farm…yes roll starting a car or even a semi is fun well it is with a semi ahhahaha

  4. This video perfectly describes my dads 2003 Nissan Xterra. I’m so glad that thing is gone! Oil leaks, smoked like a freight train, was dog shit slow, very loud, wrecked, it’d occasionally catch on fire, and it hated even the tiniest of hills. This fucking thing would have trouble going over a got damn speed bump! It somehow never left us stranded, and the poor soul who bought it drove it away!

  5. Dude a Toyota camery is THE poor person car. Go to any apartment complex or low income neighborhood and ur garenteed to see a dozen of em

  6. Ha suck it we got a Astro high top everything worked on it we got rid of it for 200 bucks and then we got a challenger for free

  7. Almost like my parents’ ‘01 Subaru Outback. It was an excellent car otherwise, but around 2012, the alternator (?) gave out and burned in our garage.

  8. Man you have 90's poor American childhood down. Oh and white. Well my parents and poor and white and we did the same shit. Huh what do ya know

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