JAMES: Here we go, hello Tom! TOM: Hello ya Crank! JAMES: Hello Kieran! KIERAN: Greetings… JAMES: Hello Jonathan! JONATHAN: Hello AHHHHHHHHHH!!! JAMES: Yep there are cup holders… So we’re on a bus again, whoo! JONATHAN: I’ve got my lunch KIERAN: He eats pigeon’s heads JAMES: Pigeons? Did you just grab a pigeon and pull the head off it? JONATHAN: Pretty much JAMES: Oh my god, yeah There’s a bus behind yous… You can’t throw a sausage butty through the window haha! I’m using this to balance the camera KIERAN: Ah you’re finally learning JAMES: I’m married JONATHAN: Are you? KIERAN: Not yet (Jonathan stares into your soul) KIERAN: I know you’ll be watching this JONATHAN: Yeah you’re watching… McDonald’s! JAMES: Brought to you by “Not McDonald’s” haha! Laura threw a cheeseburger at a wall in McDonald’s because it had gherkin on it “I don’t like gherkin!” You got your seatbelt on? JONATHAN: Yeah… JAMES: Then move! Sit back! I keep slipping into the bus I can’t show the bus route I don’t think… Feels like a mug shot this HEY GIRL! KIERAN: There are so many old people on that bus Every time I go on a bus, there’s old people! JAMES: Yeah, there are old people on this bus! KIERAN: No, this ain’t a bus! JAMES: I am a Crank TOM: I’m a Crank aswell me! JAMES: We’re all Cranks! KIERAN: Well, of course we are! JONATHAN: Gas safety! JAMES: A gas station? KIERAN: No one is safe from the Cranks! JAMES: No one is safe from my farts! KIERAN: That ain’t your power is it James? TOM: Ugh, JAMES! JAMES: You made that voice with your mouth, that’s not fair JONATHAN: I hate it when something says “Open for 24 hours” KIERAN: Is this the Asda you two went to? JAMES: Yep And bought stuff for a 9 year old child who lost everything! (Jonathan randomly singing) KIERAN: “How to get 12 year old girls excited?” JAMES: Ah, that’s the funniest thing ever on… Big Bang Theory, isn’t it? “No! Don’t type that! I’d never search that KIERAN: It had to pause at that very moment! JONATHAN: Who’s THIS?! JAMES: Who’s who? JONATHAN: This guy walking past here JAMES: I can’t record him KIERAN: Yes you can JAMES: Oh my god, he’s smoking weed! I can just see him at the corner of the camera! Yeah, he’s some sort of business man or something! KIERAN: We should go to Lewis’ house again JAMES: Yeah, without an invitation! Like knock on his door and go “HEY BOIIII WE GOT NO HOMES!” KIERAN: Lewis comes home from his taxi and he opens the door and see us five TOM: You know what we should do? JAMES: Get drunk! TOM: YES! JAMES: We can’t, we’re not 18 TOM: In Menorca, you’re allowed when you’re 16 JAMES: I’m not going to Menorca, I’m scared of flying TOM: I am! When I’m 16, I’m gonna have a drink in Menorca! Because I’m 16 on my birthday! JAMES: You’re 16 on your birthday are you? Oh yeah I bought this, so expect videos on this by the way Train Simulator! Trainz Railroad, I always get it because it’s got a Z on it, it has a Z on it, so I bought it KIERAN: You and your simulators! JAMES: I’m the simulator guy! JESUS! JONATHAN: Hellooooo JAMES: Hello there! Sit back! You’re gonna break your neck if we crash or slam on Further back… You just melted the microphone JONATHAN: That’s an ugly car! JAMES: That? That’s a ???, you can’t call a ???… Tom, your fat head’s in the way! You can’t call a Toyota ugly! Come get your cars KIERAN: Jon’s doing his rape voice JAMES: I have a feeling that because I don’t have the buffer on… Oh it’s very bumpy KIERAN: You know Turner is up ahead? JONATHAN: Oh shit… JAMES: The camera is not able to stay still, it’s like that bumpy It’s making a horrible vibration sound because I’ve got it rested on plastic, isn’t it? It’s too high innit? KIERAN: He’s looking down above us… Gerard Arms? We’re invading this pub! JONATHAN: Bye Brian! JAMES: Why are you getting off at the pub?! JONATHAN: GET ME A PINT! KIERAN: You’re going the wrong way! JAMES: He’s literally walked off from a pub KIERAN: He shouldn’t be able to resist JAMES: This is his enemy pub isn’t it? JONATHAN: He’s gonna blow it up! JAMES: Yeah, that’s it! He’s just gone to the back or something… KIERAN: Is he gonna blow up that church over there? JONATHAN: It’s how I learned how to blow up the school KIERAN: No, he’s going to the church. I know it’s nearly Christmas, but come on JAMES: He’s a prayer man… Every time you talk Kieran, I go to Jonathan Every time Jonathan talks, I go to you. I’m the worst camera person! No, I just never go to you JONATHAN: You just did then! TOM: What? KIERAN: What’d you say?! JAMES: Did you get close to the camera when I looked away then? JONATHAN: Yeah Yeah, I’m here too… how’s the camera angle? Is it terrible? So I’m here too but I’m the camera man… KIERAN: Stop touching my head! JAMES: Get off my fluff JONATHAN: Bum fluff?! JAMES: No! My head fluff! I’m gonna be learning soon I’m getting my theory test done when I’m 16 so I can do the full driving test when I’m 17 KIERAN: Like you’re learning how to handle a camera at this very moment JAMES: No, learning to drive! I’m not putting an L sticker on me! It’s like when them people get really drunk and then someone decides to pull their pants down And then stick a L sign onto their backside… JONATHAN: What, with glue? JAMES: And make them walk home KIERAN: I’ll chuck your sandwich out the window JONATHAN: Not my sausage! JAMES: Haha “my sausages!” What are you doing to Kieran?! That was the best time to catch him JONATHAN: WHAT?! JAMES: That was the best time I’ve ever caught you! JONATHAN: I’m hungry! JAMES: There you go Kieran, you have 10 minutes of editing to do now KIERAN: Oh come on! JAMES: Oh we’re here now… Will you stop smacking my arm when I’m trying to film? KIERAN: He can’t help but smack people JAMES: Go on, do your bye! JONATHAN: BYE BYE!!! JAMES: Kieran? KIERAN: Cheereo!!! JAMES: Tom? TOM: ?????? KIERAN: What did you say? JAMES: I’ve been Pig of the PigCo… I’ve been Pig of PigCo and the Cranks Wish you all luck and a Merry Christmas even though this video’s gonna be out by Easter… JONATHAN: SANDWICH!!!