Key & Peele – Consequences

Key & Peele – Consequences


[school bell rings] [indistinct chatter] OKAY, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE DOWN. THAT INCLUDES YOU,
MR. RODRIGUEZ. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE MILK
CARTON OFF OF YOUR HEAD? THANK YOU SO MUCH. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY. HE’S FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND HE’S A FORMER GANG MEMBER, AND HE’S COMING HERE
THIS MORNING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT LIFE CHOICES. SO, PLEASE, GIVE A WARM
CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL WELCOME TO DONNIE HERRERA. [applause] – I USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU… [melancholy piano music] JUST LIKE YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU. USED TO CLOWN AROUND… MAKE FUN OF THE PRINCIPAL… PUT MILK ON MY HEAD, JUST LIKE YOU, RODRIGUEZ. AND THEN… I GOT HIT WITH AIDS. CONSEQUENCES. GOT INTO SOME
REAL TROUBLE, BOY. STOLE FROM MY MOM AND DAD… STOLE FROM MY OWN SISTER! AND THEN ONE DAY… A PIANO FELL ON MY HEAD. – WHAT?
– CONSEQUENCES. – I FEEL LIKE
HE MISSED A STEP THERE. – GAVE ME 88 CONCUSSIONS, ONE FOR EACH KEY. YOU’D THINK I’M LEARNING,
BUT, NO. SEE, I’M JUST LIKE YOU. I GOT BACK OUT THERE, STARTED MAKING
SOME REAL CRIMES, HOMEBOY. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. AND THEN… I GOT TRAMPLED
BY A HERD OF BUFFALO. – WHAT?
– CONSEQUENCES. – OKAY, DONNIE,
I THINK WE’VE HAD ENOUGH. – NOT DONE WITH MY STORY! I WAS LIKE YOU! I DECIDED IT’D BE COOL TO HANG OUT
WITH SOME OF THE TOUGH KIDS. MM. YOU KNOW
WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT. THEY WERE HANGING
ON THE STREETS LATE AT NIGHT. MORE THAN
CIGARETTE SMOKERS, HOMES. AND THEN… ONE DAY I GOT SHOT
OUT OF A CATAPULT. – THAT’S IT.
OKAY. – INTO THE MOUTH OF A DRAGON! – STUDENTS, EVERYTHING YOU’VE
HEARD HERE TODAY IS A LIE. – I DON’T LIE ANYMORE. – YOU’RE ALL EXCUSED. – LOOK AT ME!
– PLEASE, I APOLOGIZE. – I SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE! – THANK YOU, AURELIO. I APOLOGIZE, DENISE. – SO I GOT REALLY DEEP
INTO CRIME. I DID A DRIVE-BY AT MY OWN
DAUGHTER’SQUINCEAÑERA!YEAH, SHOT UP EVERYBODY–
DEAD, KILLED! YEAH! YEAH! THEN I GOT SUCKED
INTO A WORMHOLE. CONSEQUENCES. – THAT’S IT. OKAY.
EVERYBODY GO. – I WAS IN ANOTHER DIMENSION, TRIED TO INTRODUCE
MY OWN PARENTS TO EACH OTHER. ALMOST FAILED.
ARM WAS DISAPPEARING. – I’VE HAD IT. – I INVENTEDJOHNNY B. GOODE
AT MY PARENTS’ PROM, AND AT THE LAST MOMENT,
THEY KISSED, AND IT CAME BACK. – THE FASTER WE GET AWAY
FROM HIM, THE BETTER. – BUT NOBODY BELIEVE ME! WHERE’S MY CRACK?
WHERE’S MY CRACK? OH. [booming crash] OH! CONSEQUENCES!

About the Author: Michael Flood

100 Comments

  1. Some people in my country (Guess) would literally believe this. They can link every action to their loose understanding of Karma.

  2. This show is racist toward long distance runners. Sprinters think they are so elite. Black guys pretending to be mexicans, too.

  3. i got so high thought i could climb mt everest and as i almost reach the top, i was run over by a bus 'Consequencs'

  4. I married a pretty lady named: karen a few years ago. After we got married, she gave birth to my kids and took them without me checking on them

    Consequences

  5. AND THEN I GOT TRAMPLED BY A HERD OF BUFFALO๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  6. Consequences๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

  7. I was about to click off this video and go watch something else but then I realized I didn't want to deal with the Consequences from doing that LOL ๐Ÿ˜…

  8. Presenting at another school: One day, I was giving a presentation to high schoolers just LiKe YoU, YOU, YOu, you.. I decided to smoke crack.. and then I got hit by a wRecKing ballโ€”- โ€” ConSeQUENCes!

  9. i got shot out of a catapult,IN TO THE MOUTH OF A DRAGON!

    That part kills me everytime ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. A prisoner was blind and was walked into a pole by his friend who was also blind named quinces. His vision was restored
    Con see Quences

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