Key & Peele – Office Homophobe

Key & Peele – Office Homophobe


[rhythmic bass beat,
sensual moans] ♪ ♪ – LATRELL? – WHAT’S UP, BABY GIRL? – CAN YOU PLEASE TURN
THAT OFF? – WHY, YOU DON’T LIKE MY MUSIC?
– IS IT MUSIC? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH
OF SEX NOISES OVER A BASS LINE. – OH. I GET IT. YOU DON’T LIKE MY MUSIC
‘CAUSE I’M GAY. YOU CAN’T HANDLE
A GAY MAN’S MUSIC. – NO, NO, NO. IT’S–I’M TRYING TO WORK HERE, AND THAT MUSIC
IS WEIRDLY SEXUAL. – OH, I SEE. SO MY SEXUALITY IS WEIRD. YOU JUST CAN’T FATHOM A MAN
BEING ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER MAN. – I CAN FATHOM IT.
IT’S– CAN YOU JUST PLEASE LISTEN
TO SOME OTHER GAY MUSIC, LIKE BARBRA STREISAND
OR SOMETHING– – OH, I SEE, I SEE.
OKAY. SO LISTENING
TO BARBRA STREISAND IS GAY. STEREOTYPE MUCH? [keys clacking] SO YOU SEEING
ANYBODY LATELY? – YEAH, I-I MEAN, KIND OF. I THINK– – ‘CAUSE I GOT IT GOOD
LAST NIGHT. OH, IT WAS LIKE, DAMN!
I MEAN, MY MAN WAS LIKE, BLOP! LIKE, HE HAD A BABY ARM HOLDING
ON TO A APPLE. – AW, DON’T CALL IT
A BABY ARM. – AW. I SEE. SO YOU CAN’T HANDLE HEARING
ABOUT HOW I’M GAY. I’M SORRY. – YOU JUST REFERRED
TO YOUR BOYFRIEND’S PENIS AS A BABY’S ARM
HOLDING AN APPLE. – WELL, THAT’S WHAT
IT LOOKED LIKE. AND IT’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND,
BY THE WAY. AND “ANYWHATS,”
YOU’RE HOMOPHOBIC. – NO, NO, NO.
THAT’S NOT HOMOPHOBIC, OKAY? YOU’RE EXPLICITLY TALKING
ABOUT SEXUAL THINGS IN THE WORKPLACE. – FINE. THERE’S PLENTY OF STUFF
THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT. YOU KNOW, UH, MY PENIS CUP, MY SCROTUM COZIES THAT I HAVE
BEEN KNITTING RECENTLY– OH, WITH THESE KNITTING NEEDLES
THAT I HAVE JUST NOTICED LOOK LIKE LITTLE, SKINNY,
PURPLE PENISES, ET CETERA AND ET CETERA. – OH, MY GOD. – CAN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE, AND THEN YOU TELL ME
IF IT’S GOOD FOR FACEBOOK? – OKAY, I’M FAIRLY CERTAIN
YOU’RE GOING TO SHOW ME SOMETHING OVERTLY SEXUAL. – DON’T YOU PREJUDGE ME!
HERE IT IS. – AGH! [bleep]! THAT’S A CLOSE-UP
OF AN ANUS. – OH, NO, THAT’S NOTANANUS. THAT’S MY ANUS, BABY GIRL. – THAT’S DISGUSTING.
– OH, I SEE. SO YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE
A CLOSE-UP PICTURE OF MY ANUS ‘CAUSE YOU HATE GUY MEN. – NO. I DON’T WANT TO LOOK
AT A CLOSE-UP PICTURE OF ANYONE’S ANUS. – HOMOPHOBE. HOMOPHOBE.
THERE’S A HOMOPHOBE RIGHT HERE. HO–
[blows whistle] HOMOPHOBE ALERT! [high-pitched voice]
HOMOPHOBE! [imitating siren wailing] – HEY. – HEY, BABY.
HOW’S IT GOING? – GOOD.
READY TO GO TO LUNCH? – YEAH. UH, LATRELL, THIS IS GAVIN. GAVIN, THIS IS LATRELL.
THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. – HOW YOU DOING? – I’M–I’M–
I’M DOING VERY WELL. HOW–HOW ARE YOU DOING,
GAVIN–GAVIN? – GREAT. WANT TO GO?
– YEAH. – NICE TO MEET YOU. – NO, TRUST ME.
IT’S NOT. – NO?
– THAT’S THE GUY. – OH. – OH…
I GET IT. I’M NOT PERSECUTED.
I’M JUST A ASSHOLE. AH.

About the Author: Michael Flood

100 Comments

  1. The worst thing about this sketch is at the end when he gets up and walks away from his PC without locking it. He clearly hasn't done his annual information governance refresher training.

  2. That's how most gay people are nowadays and wants to shovel their agenda on everyone with their gay pride and shit , some gay people are more reserved and I respect that

  3. – I'm homophobic because I don't want a penis in my mouth?
    – exactly, that's exactly what homophobic means.

  4. Is he knitting a nut sweater😂, I'm sure those would work great in cold climates, add a lil pocket😅shut up and take my money💸😂

  5. back in the day, gay people were just 'single', and didn't have to define themselves by telling everyone or openly displaying to everyone how much they enjoy sexual intercourse with the same gender.

  6. This is why I can never decide whether or not to pursue my flight attendant career because of how many of these asshats I’ll be encountering on layovers or overnights. No thanks!!! Thanks but no thanks!! Guess I’ll have to look for another way to get on into the aviation industry without being a flight attendant.

  7. Peele was in violation… he didn’t lock his computer before he walked away. Security breach is real people!!! We need to advocate for full compliance in the workplace.

  8. Peele was in violation… he didn’t lock his computer before he walked away. Security breach is real people!!! We need to advocate for full compliance in the workplace.

  9. Baby arm holding onto an apple… austin powers the spy who shagged me are you guys really stealing and using others jokes???

  10. It’s a great sketch, but that whole “ babies arm holding an apple” joke is completely stolen from John Stewart’s stand up

  11. You have no idea how much I wanted that message to get across. This was resounding! I have no words! 👏🙌💪

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *