Kroll Show – Wheels Ontario – Roll With It

Kroll Show – Wheels Ontario – Roll With It


JUST THAT GRADE 9
IS DIFFERENT FROM GRADE 8. TUCK IN YOUR BLOUSE, EH? – WE’RE NOT IN SASKATOON
ANYMORE, MUM. PEOPLE IN TORONTO
DON’T TUCK IN THEIR BLOUSES. THEY WANT TO DRESS WELL HERE,
AND I WANT TO FIT IN, YOU KNOW? – WELL, DON’T TRY
TOO HARD. I GOT PREGNANT WITH YOU
WHEN I WAS IN GRADE 13. PEER PRESSURE, EH?
– MUM… OUR NATIONAL HEALTH PLAN
PAYS FOR ABORTIONS, BUT FIRST I GOT TO GET
A GIRLFRIEND ANYWAY, YOU KNOW? – HERE, TAKE THIS LOONIE,
BUY YOURSELF A BAG OF MILK. – ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU, MUM.
GOT TO BOUNCE. – LOVE YOU, MIKEY. – HERE WE GO.
[uplifting music]

[school bell ringing]
– REMEMBER, KIDS,
TODAY IS VICTORIA DAY,
SO BE SURE TO DROP A LOONIE
IN THE QUEEN’S JAR
FOR GOOD LUCK.
– [laughing]
– [speaking French]
– HEY, WHAT THE… – HEY, LEGS,
THANKS FOR THE LOONIE. – PARDON, I THINK
YOU TOOK MY MILK MONEY. AND MY NAME IS MIKEY.
I’M NEW IN SCHOOL, AND I–
– SHUSH UP. IF I CALL YOU LEGS,
YOUR NAME IS LEGS, LEGS. – [speaking French] [both laughing] – PARDON ME,
BUT YOU’RE BEING VERY RUDE. OUCH! MY CALF MUSCLE,
YOU BASHED IT! I HATE ONTARIO. I WISH I WAS BACK
IN SASKATOON. – PARDON, DO YOU
NEED A PULL? – THANKS. – THOSE GUYS ARE HOSERS. NOT EVERYONE IN ONTARIO’S
A BIG, DUMB JERK. – [chuckling]
– MY NAME’S FRANCESCA, BUT, UH, EVERYONE
CALLS ME TUNES. – OH, COOL,
‘CAUSE OF YOUR BOOM BOX? – AY.
– MY NAME’S MIKEY. – OH.
– YEAH, YOU LIKE MUSIC? – MM-HMM.
– OH, COOL. – YEAH.
[both chuckling] I LEARNED THAT YOU CAN’T
LET THE BULLIES GET TO YOU, YOU GOT TO BEAT THEM
AT THEIR OWN GAME. – OH. WHURLING, OKAY. COOL. WHURLING.
[school bell ringing] – CRAP, I’M LATE
FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY CLASS. PEACE OUT.
– PEACE OUT, TUNES. WHURLING, EH? HMM, SOUNDS COOL. – AND THAT CONCLUDES
OUR LESSON ON THE FOUNDER OF CANADIAN ELECTRICITY,
SIR BRIAN. OH! OH! LOOK WHO DECIDED
TO COME IN TARDY. YOU KNOW,
DON’T THINK IT’S OKAY TO JUST ROLL IN HERE
AT 100 KILOMETERS PER HOUR LIKE YOU’RE JOEL OTTO
OF THE CALGARY FLAMES, OKAY? [all chuckling] NOW I’M SURE
YOU’RE ALL OBSESSING ABOUT WHO YOU’RE GONNA TAKE
TO THE POUTINE DANCE, BUT I WANT YOUR FOCUS AND I WANT YOUR CONCENTRATION
UP HERE NOW, ‘CAUSE WE HAVE
A SPECIAL GUEST, OKAY? HIS NAME
IS INUIT ANDY. HE GOES TO A SCHOOL
JUST LIKE THIS, EXCEPT IT’S
IN A SNOW IGLOO. HE’S HAD A VERY HARD LIFE,
SO PLEASE GIVE HIM YOUR FOCUS. – MY NAME
IS INUIT ANDY. I COME FROM THE HARSH LANDS
OF YELLOWKNIFE, WHERE MY PEOPLE STILL LIVE
IN ANCIENT WAYS– – CONNOR, CONNOR! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE,
PRIME MINISTER STEPHEN HARPER? YOU’RE A FISHERMAN? – YES.
– TALK–TALK ABOUT THAT. – WE STILL FISH
USING SPEARS AND HARPOONS. WE TAKE GIANT STICKS
THAT WE FIND IN THE FOREST TO BASH SEALS
FOR FOOD. – I THINK YOU’RE BUMMING
EVERYONE OUT. [school bell ringing]
– WHOA. SWEET WHURLING BROOM, EH? – NICE LEGS.
– HEY. WHO ARE YOU?
– I’M BAGUIATI. – OH, I’M MIKEY,
NICE TO MEET–
[somber music]

About the Author: Michael Flood

100 Comments

  1. Just so everyone knows – I travel to Toronto for work from the USA and this is so accurate. I was telling a coworker about it and tried to pull it up on youtube and the Wheels Ontario videos are all not available in Canada. So there are Canadians who don't get to see this glory.

  2. I found out while I was in Canada that these videos are blocked from being viewed in Canada! What's up with that? I wanted to show my Canadian friends.

  3. Sarah Paige Macdonald deserves a directors award for this skit, if in fact she directed it. ( Blonde haired girl from Degrassi lol)

  4. I can't believe Drake was on this show. He was the greatest thespian of his generation and now the greatest rapper ever.

  5. Only people with CBC will get this….and it's hilarious. Still laugh when Drake acts all gangster and tough. Still see him as the kid in the wheelchair on Degrassi.

  6. I hate people who think they can just roll in like they're Joel Otto of the Calgary Flames. That was so disrespectful to Inuit Andy.

  7. Sweet jeebs this is still the funniest thing since ever. My husband's from Ontario so I like to yell OWCH MY CALF MUSCLE to him randomly lmfao

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