Tag: monologue

It’s Ellen’s Gorillathon Sale!

It’s Ellen’s Gorillathon Sale!

We are right smack in the middle of spring, and you can tell already. And here’s how you know it’s spring. I saw this for a flooring company. This is an ad. Black Friday flooring sale. Ever heard…

Read More »

Adam Investigates: 12 Days Gifts on Craigslist

Adam Investigates: 12 Days Gifts on Craigslist

– Let me ask you a question, uh, how many of you have used Craigslist before? [cheers and applause] It’s the number one site for selling your old garbage to creepy strangers. [laughter] You can find so many…

Read More »

The Late Show Wheel Of News

The Late Show Wheel Of News

BUT THERE ARE JUST SO MANY STORIES OUT THERE, I CAN’T POSSIBLY TALK ABOUT THEM ALL. LUCKILY, I DON’T HAVE TO DECIDE ANY MORE BECAUSE I’M RELINQUISHING EDITORIAL CONTROL IN MY NEW SEGMENT: ( AUDIENCE ) WHEEL! OF!…

Read More »

Epic or Fail: Hamster Wheel

Epic or Fail: Hamster Wheel

You seem like a smart audience, and I’m not just saying that cuz some of you are wearing glasses, although, that is part of it.>>[LAUGH] >>I wanna put your smarts to the test, and we’re gonna play a…

Read More »

Madonna Carpool Karaoke

Madonna Carpool Karaoke

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHOWING ME AROUND THE CITY. I DON’T KNOW NEW YORK THAT WELL. AND TO HAVE A GUIDE LIKE YOU IS WONDERFUL.>>YOU NEED TO GET.>>I WOULD LOVE TO.>>OH MY GOD.>>HE CUT YOU OFF.>>HE CUT…

Read More »

Adele Carpool Karaoke

Adele Carpool Karaoke

HELLO? IT’S ME. I WAS WONDERING IF AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU’D LIKE TO MEET. JUST HAVE A DRIVE AROUND. HELLO? HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE. ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU IN A MINUTE. GREAT.>>HELLO. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).>>James: OH, THANK…

Read More »

Gwen Stefani Carpool Karaoke (w/ George Clooney & Julia Roberts)

Gwen Stefani Carpool Karaoke (w/ George Clooney & Julia Roberts)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) TELL YOU WHAT, THIS TRAFFIC, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME GET TO WORK TODAY. I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE IT.>>IT’S FINE. YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE JDZ REALLY?>>I FEEL LIKE WE’RE…

Read More »

Gwen Stefani Carpool Karaoke (w/ George Clooney & Julia Roberts)

No Picture

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) TELL YOU WHAT, THIS TRAFFIC, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME GET TO WORK TODAY. I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE IT.>>IT’S FINE. YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE JDZ REALLY?>>I FEEL LIKE WE’RE…

Read More »

Elton John Carpool Karaoke

Elton John Carpool Karaoke

HOW YOU DOING? HAVE YOU LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW? IT IS POURING DOWN WITH RAIN, AND PEOPLE IN L.A. JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. IT’S CARNAGE OUT THERE. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME GET TO…

Read More »

Carpool Karaoke w/ Sam Smith ft. Fifth Harmony

Carpool Karaoke w/ Sam Smith ft. Fifth Harmony

HEY, I KNOW ARE YOU IN L.A. AT THE MOMENT, IS THERE ANYWAY YOU CAN HELP ME GET TO, WITHOUT. I’M IN A REAL RUSH AND THE TRAFFIC IS AWFUL. OH, YOU’RE THE BEST. THANK YOU, I’M RIGHT…

Read More »