The Best Third Wheel in the World

The Best Third Wheel in the World


Hi, I’m Trevor. And I’m the best third wheel in the world. I third wheel my friends, my pets, heck, I third wheel my parents ever since I was born! Now I know what you’re thinking,
why would anyone WANT to be a third wheel? Being a third wheel SUCKS. But where others only see the drawbacks of being singled out,
I see the value of a truly kick ass third wheel “And I ROCK at it!”   Aww, don’t they look so cute today. But sometimes, selfies aren’t enough. I don’t just help them take a picture. “Landscape, Portrait, One for safety, Flash, No Flash, High angle, Full body, Touch-two! I’ll even pick the filter for you. Go with Mayfair.”   “Buy one get one free” deal making me feel left out?
Pshh As if! More like buy none get TWO free! Drink up~ go ahead. Sidewalk too narrow for 3 of us?
Every third wheel knows you have to walk a few steps behind. But I’m not every third wheel,
I’m the best third wheel in the world. I stand a whole block behind! “Y’all good up there?
Alright, Take a LEFT! okay?” Great   Wow, looks like these guys are going to need a designated driver. But I’m not complaining, I’m making the wine recommendations. “You’ll love this Chardonnay,
’97, excellent year.” Uh oh. Was that Pauline’s ex that just walked in?   This could totally ruin the night. But I don’t just break the tension…   I remove it. Shhh And while they both “go to the bathroom” to make up… I’m not awkwardly waiting, annoyed. I put up candles and David Choi back there.   “Don’t mind me~” “Oh yeah”   “Hey Drew’s mom, He’s…
busy right now, but he loves you and.. Has lately been thinking about
his relationship with you and wishes He could go track all the years
that he took you for granted And regrets not spending more time
with you when he was young and impressionable And now if there’s one thing that he could do to say sorry
and help you by being a better son ‘kay, good night. You’re welcome, Drew   Awkward cab ride forcing me to sit in the front alone? I don’t just sit with the cab driver. I AM the cab driver. Where to?   And finally, at the end of the night,
when everyone wants to get all cute and mushy. Usually this is the worst moment for all third wheels.
But not me. I don’t get uncomfortable. I get extremely comfortable.   So next time you feel ashamed about
being a third wheel, think about me. Before you complain,
consider how important your role is. I salute all those out there like me
who’s selfless sacrifices go overlooked, But, we know it’s ….   La Quinta Rueda!  

About the Author: Michael Flood

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