Used Car Salesman at the New York Auto Show

Used Car Salesman at the New York Auto Show

What’s up I’m Mitch Altima, and I’m here
at the New York Auto Show. I’m a used car salesman from Long Island and we’re
going to talk to people, look at the cars, look at the beautiful cars, look at these automobiles! Are we good? I love to sell cars, I always say “Always be
closing.” And always use napkins when you eat, because you don’t want food to fall out your mouth. This is 400 horsepower. 400 miles an hour! 400 horsepower.
WOW! Piece of shit, this car is a piece of shit. [*Grunts*] This is a good car. All these cars and their safety ratings…
I say to hell with all of it! I like the old cars – ’94 Buick Century, baby! CHEEEESE! Do you design vehicles yourself? No, absolutely not, I sell used cars in
Merrick, Long Island. I would happily happily move out of my small apartment and live into this larger car. I’d sleep here tonight – you
guys just give me permission… I am hurting pretty bad financially and emotionally.
Physically I have a lot of problems as well. How many beach chairs could I
fit in this trunk if I had friends and a family that would
go to the beach with me? Nobody buy this car because it’s just plastic and you should not buy that car. Look at that thing, big old bike on there. What are you going to do with that, you can’t ride it. What are you going to do with that?
You can’t ride a bike up on top of a car… Does this shoot flame or is that just for show? Did you just hear the question you asked? I said “does it shoot flame?” – it was an honest question and I’m a serious business man. Yeah I’m proud of you guys.
I’m hard on you, but I’m proud All the cars I have go about 60 miles an hour tops,
and then the engine falls out. Open that baby up on the highway – scare
some people you know? Yeah, you can scare a lot of people… One second I’m getting a call here,
from the wife… Hello?
Oh yeah lot of fast cars, real fast. Put it on a credit card! I need to spend my money on something and I need the car… No, you’re acting like a lunatic Deb… I’ll put on as many credit cards I need to put it on… The surprise is ruined because I’m
coming home with a new car, baby! Okay so I’ll put it on a debit card then!
Alright babe, ok, alright. Ok. Ok. Ok. We both got these damn jobs and we just can’t get out of them. Alright well I like it! I had a good time at the Auto Show
and I want to thank you guys for walking us out. It was a fun auto show… Thank you guys so much for walking us out like this, this was a real pleasure

About the Author: Michael Flood


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